It’s hard to pick just one memory, one story out of countless memories to memorialize my loved one. Every moment spent together was precious as were the gifts he willingly shared with those around him: his smile, his singing, his goofiness, his dry sense of humor, the way he brought joy to all who knew him, his commitment, his love of family and adventure, watching movies together, looking up at the night sky, dancing together in the grass. I could go on and on.

Despite the abundance of stories I could tell there is one story that will always be with me no matter where I go; every morning I wake up and every night I go to bed. A memory that will always be a part of me like an invisible tattoo. A story of the power of love.

Matt was a real-life superhero like Edward in the Twilight series, like Edward who stopped a truck from hitting Bella with his hand (in the book and movie) saving her life, Matt saved my life in what should have been a fatal car accident for me. It’s not every day that the only person you trust with your life has the opportunity to show you that you genuinely can. Matt attributed his gallant efforts to an adrenaline rush. He said he saw the smoke and steam and knew he had to get me out of the car no matter what it took. He wasn’t going to lose me. Still to this day, I have no idea how he did it. I was in no easy position to get out of the car when I went unconscious, especially with no access to the car door I was near. Matt and the power of love are part of the Divine intervention and miracle that I am alive today and able to share his heroic story; both his valiant act of love that saved my life and his heroic journey battling opioids.

Matt loved singing and often used music to express his feelings. On our first date, I thought he was so brave getting up and singing karaoke in front of everyone. There were two special songs that he would always sing to me,” Broken” and “To Be with You.” After the car accident, I got brave and started singing duet with him. We had planned to sing karaoke together one night but we never got the chance. Tragically, Matt relapsed, two months after the car accident, costing him his life and robbing us of his amazing presence.

I didn’t know Matt during his active use of opioids. He was in recovery from that. But I know the devastation, the void, the soul ache, the heartbreak, and the depths of grief that losing my fiancé to an overdose left. I know how quickly life can change in an instant. His future, the future we mapped out together, our plans and dreams gone in a flash. Leaving memories etched in my heart and my mind like the love we share.

In Loving Memory of Matthew “Matt” Adams

28 February 1980 – 28 February 2017

This piece was originally written for the Memorial Doors Project by artist and activist Domenic Esposito.